Dealing With An Angry And Aggressive Child
By trumark06
(Publisher's Note: If you are not good at dealing with an angry and aggressive child, this article will provide you with the information you need in order to learn how to deal with this type of behavior from a child.)
For parents, one of the most distressing things to deal with is an angry, aggressive child. It drains you mentally, and is emotionally very painful. And worse yet, you are puzzled by the cause of such aggressive behavior and how to handle it.
Do not react or respond to an angry child.
Right from childhood, we are taught not to express our anger, especially in public. However genuine that cause for anger, as children we could not ever show it, or at least not without being made to feel guilty about it. Also as parents now, we deal with angry, aggressive children by getting angry ourselves, at times setting out unreasonable punishments to them. We are reacting to anger with anger, feeling guilty about it all the time. Invariably an angry child is likely to react negatively if we deal with him harshly.
The solution is to this is not that the child can never get angry. It is an absolutely natural feeling that a child is bound to have when certain things do not go their way. The solution is to respond patiently to these feelings and help the child cope with them.
Easier said then done, you say?
Let us look at few tips on how to help an angry or an aggressive child, but before that we should differentiate between anger and aggression.
Anger is a more normal reaction caused by temporary frustration in the child.
Aggression is a more wanton desire to hurt or destroy and could indicate behavioral problems.
Helping an angry or aggressive child help themselves.
Respond positively to good behavior and thoughtful efforts. Pay compliments to the child, 'Thank you for coming in for lunch without being reminded', 'It was very nice of you to help me clear the plates from the table, and you were very good sharing your toys with our young visitor.' This makes the child feel good about themselves and helps in reinforcing positive behavior.
Young children always try to show adults what they are trying and try to get them involved in their thoughts and activities. Parents that are most often very busy are annoyed by this and tend to brush off their child's requests. Aggressive behavior is often thought to be one way for a child to seek attention for itself. This often manifests in form of child anger. If you find a child beginning to get aggressive, express interest in what he is doing and ask him to show what he is working on. A simple show of affection, like a hug, can also help in calming the child down.
If a child is feeling temporary feelings of anger at not being able to get something or do something, help that child deal with those feelings of anger. Instead of reacting angrily, speak to him and nip the child anger in its bud. If the child is angry about not being able to watch a certain program, ask him for his reasons for wanting to see it. Explain to him your reasons for your not wanting him to watch it. Make him see the reasoning in your argument and offer him better alternatives to what he could be doing in his time. Thus you are telling your child that it is OK to be angry but that there are better ways of expressing it.
The best way of dealing with angry, aggressive children is to understand them and then help them deal with their feelings, by responding to them with sensitivity and kindness, not react to them by becoming strict and authoritative.
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